And on stage right . . .

Lead singer Charles Krauthammer
"Charles Krauthammer is an Idiot"
--Democratic Underground, Dec 20 2004

"Krauthammer's the intellectual equivalent of a fried peanut butter and banana sandwich, and with all the argumentative skills of a syphilitic baboon."

"Charles Krauthammer is a bitter and pathetic moral, intellectual and physical cripple."
--Daily Kos, Sep 5 2008

"Charles Krauthammer is Genuinely Stupid"
--Ben Cohen, Huffington Post, Dec 8 2008

"I have absolutely no doubt that Krauthammer would have supported Hitler and been a Nazi, probably a high-ranking one, were he around as a German in WW II."
--Thinkprogress, Jul 29 2008

"Krauthammer is an idiot and a neocon douchebag. He has been consistently wrong for the past decade and I haven't a clue why anyone would take his opinion seriously."
--digg, Jan 2 2009

"Charles Krauthammer is an angry old twisted man."
--Salon.com, April 21 2007

The Neocon Douchebag Backup Singers
"Dictator or democrat? Radical or liberal? Who in the world is this man? Where in the world is the responsible media? What's going on?"
--Townhall.com, Tony Blankley, Jun 11 2008

"Who is Barack Obama? The truth is that neither Sen. Obama's supporters nor opponents can answer that question."
--Dennis Prager, Mar 18 2008

"Who is the real Barack Obama?"
--John McCain, Oct 2008

"Obama: We Still Don't Know Who He Really Is"
--Mort Kondracke, oct 31 2008

"Who is Barack Obama?"
--Sarah Palin, Oct 2008

"People don't know exactly who is Obama."
--Juan Williams, Jul 6 2008

"Who is the real Barack Hussein Obama?"
--Martin Dzuris

With special guest duo, the Neutral Sages
Charlie Rose: "I don't know what Barack Obama's worldview is."
Tom Brokaw: "No, I don't, either."
--PBS, Oct 30 2008

AND THEN THE AUDIENCE AWOKE . . .

DailyKosters stretch, rub their eyes, and . . .
"WTF?"
"What universe is our new Prez living in?"
"He's just as much white as he is black."
"The only real change we got is in the label."
--DailyKos, pre-Jan 20, 2009

Michelle Goldberg's readers "all sore down there," had to sleep on wet spot:
"Sticker shock."
"A royal screwing."
--Religion Dispatches, Dec 2008

Glum, Low, Bitter and Ticked:
"I have, alas, reached a point of profound disillusionment."
--DailyKos, Dec 2008

Political analyst finds lipstick on Obama's hanky -- the same rosey brown shade the press corps wears:
"President Obama got an early Christmas present from the press corps: no questions about the biggest political stumble yet of his time as president-elect. Obama introduced new nominations today to head up transportation, labor, trade and small business. After the thank-you speeches, questions from the press. But none about Rick Warren."
--Rachel Maddow, MSNBC, Dec 18 2008

Jilted economist weeps that Obama doesn't want to get social:
"Obama sells out to Wall Street"
--David Sirota, Salon.com Jan 2009

Of course the drama-queen peaceniks always think it's the end of the world:
"Some months ago, I had the mind frame that at least the Bush administration would be gone; perhaps the economy would stabilize; maybe the United States would stop terrorizing the rest of the world and let us all catch our breath. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Obama is a monster. When I look at Obama, I see the man that could very well lead us to World War III. "
--Dissident Voice, Dec 2008

Islamists mad that he won't divorce his other two wives, Israel and America:
"OBAMA: My bad, I'm actually going to need a second term to close gitmo and do other stuff you somehow got the idea I was going to do... Sorry. No gitmo closure within the first 100 days. Also: the hard-on for Israel continues; there will be no clean break from Bush policies; Cheney gives 'pretty good advice'; and country continues obssession with the fucking dog."
--Kabobfest, Jan 2009

"There is absolutely no reason at all to continue on with the fantasy that Obama's position on Israel will be fundamentally any different than that of Bush or Clinton's. Wake up already. Goddamn fools."
--Kabobfest, Jan 2009

"People recall his campaign slogan of change and hoped that it would apply to the Palestinian situation. He did not even send one signal to the people of this region that he is not happy with what is happening."
--Jordanian analyst Labib Kamhawi, Seattle Times, Jan 2009

"Obama's message of change does not seem to apply to the Middle East."
--Diaa Rashwan, Irish Times, Jan 2009

January 19 2009, a dour day on Google:
"Obama sellout" -- 1,200,000 hits
"Obama betrayal" -- 1,370,000 hits
"meet the new boss same as the old boss" -- 427,000 hits
"fool me once obama" -- 285,000 hits

And he's not even sworn in yet.

THE LONG MORNING AFTER

It's going to be a long four years. Shall we hasten it by looking through the keyhole as Obama's dupes painfully awaken to the fact that their Beloved's skeptics were right all along?

"Hey, I'm the one who's underneath you."

"At the moment he needed all of his persuasive powers, Obama gave the worst major speech of his presidency. I despise the right-wing Obama-Teleprompter taunts, but even I wanted to say, Look at your audience, not the damn Teleprompter, Mr. President."

Joan Walsh, Salon, December 2 2009

Liberal commentator can't get no satisfaction

"Can this probing, intelligent president close anything?"

-- Roger Cohen, New York Times, November 24 2009

"You remind me of my ex."

"Why did he bow to that Japanese emperor? Why did he pick Tim Geithner to be his economic front-man? Why all this dithering over Afghanistan, and who thought it was a wonderful idea to bring the killers of 9/11 to New York City? Is Obama channeling Adlai Stevenson, for heaven's sake?"

-- Chris Matthews, November 21 2009

Foreign affairs

"Barack Obama cast himself as a 'citizen of the world' when he delivered his well-received campaign speech in Berlin in the summer of 2008. But the US president has now betrayed this claim. In his Berlin speech, he was dishonest with Europe."

Christian Schwägerl in Der Spiegel, November 17 2009

"You said in the ad you enjoy quiet evenings in front of the fire and calm walks on the beach!"

"Obama himself set a tone of a 'No Drama Obama' campaign and worked hard to keep the campaign’s machinations on the high road and not in the political gutter. What just happened to Gregory Craig should not have happened in Obama Land. So much for the Obama team's pledge to be transparent, forthright and accountable for their actions."

Steve Clemons at The Daily Beast, November 16 2009

Citizen group(ie)s betrayed by rock star

Transparency advocate miffed that the see-thru nightie was meant for him

“This is a broken promise. We didn’t get anywhere near the level of transparency that we were promised.”

--Bill Allison of the Sunlight Foundation, October 27 2009

Colored lights fade at CNN

"Where has the Obama 'magic' gone?"
 
--Jack Cafferty, October 27, 2009

Liberal journalists: "You're just like my ex."

"There is simply no way that a person with even the most minimal levels of intellectual integrity could have objected to these actions during the Bush years yet defend them now that Obama is doing them."

--Glenn Greenwald, Salon, October 26 2009

"The Obama administration makes vague, reassuring noises about constraining executive power and protecting civil liberties, but then merrily adopts whatever appalling policy George W. Bush put in place."

--Julian Sanchez, The Nation, October 19 2009
 
"The Obama administration has clung for so long to the Bush administration’s expansive claims of national security and executive power that it is in danger of turning President George W. Bush’s cover-up of abuses committed in the name of fighting terrorism into President Barack Obama’s cover-up.

"We have had recent reminders of this dismaying retreat from Mr. Obama’s passionate campaign promises to make a break with Mr. Bush’s abuses of power."

--New York Times editorial, October 25, 2009

"It was thought by many that a President Obama would put a stop to the madness, put an end to the Bush administration’s nightmarish approach to national security. But Mr. Obama has shown no inclination to bring even the worst offenders of the Bush years to account, and seems perfectly willing to move ahead in lockstep with the excessive secrecy and some of the most egregious activities of the Bush era."

--Bob Herbert, NY Times, June 22 2009

"Um, I'm not really into bondage."

"Americans should recoil as one against the idea of preventive detention, imprisoning people indefinitely, for years and perhaps for life, without charge and without giving them an opportunity to demonstrate their innocence.

"President Obama is O.K. with this (he calls it 'prolonged detention'), but he wants to make sure it is carried out — here comes the oxymoron — fairly and nonabusively."

--Bob Herbert, NY Times, June 22 2009

Liberal journalist miffed that Obama won't share the porn pix

"We saw the profound effect of the disclosure of the photos from Abu Ghraib in 2004. Now the Obama administration is trying to sit on photos that are just as important for Americans to see."

--Bob Herbert, NY Times, June 22 2009

Liberal journalist pouts: "You said you'd stop hanging with those guys after we got together."

"Surely President Barack Obama and his advisers don't really think that their feud with Fox News will do anything but enhance the cable network's viewership. A deeper problem is what the flap reveals about Team Obama, which seems to be more comfortable with campaigning than governing.

"Every president needs campaign experts. But every president also needs people who know how to slip off to the private meeting and bring leaders together in ways that also bring the country together. That's the change we're waiting for."

--Clarence Page, Chicago Tribune, Oct 25 2009

Liberal journalist fumes in the stag line while Obama does that obscene new dance craze with the bad boyz

"I don't understand why the White House would give such poisonous helium balloons as Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity the opportunity for still greater spasms of self-inflation by declaring war on Fox."

--Joe Klein, TIME, October 23 2009

Disillusioned Dem talks of love and war

"If you believe that the battle of public opinion was fought in town hall meetings this summer across this country, then you've also got to agree that the army of healthcare reform and their commanding general stayed in the barracks."

--Eric Massa (D-N.Y.), Bill Press Radio Show, October 19 2009

Champion in chess, loser in love

"Like many Russians, I was encouraged by Mr. Obama's inspirational speech in Moscow last July, but he must know there is more to statesmanship than printing money and making speeches."

Garry Kasparov, Wall Street Journal, October 18 2009

Unmarriageble woman pleads, "Come on, baby, make it hurt so good."

"What of a president who strives to keep everyone in some vague middle ground of satisfaction or dissatisfaction, without ever offending anyone?"

--Maureen Dowd, October 17 2009

"You're just like my ex."

"I expected as much from the Bush administration, but why are we still being nickeled and dimed in our recovery?"

--Gabriel Bordenave, New Orleans citizen, to President Obama, Oct 15 2009

Liberal journalist asks in disgust, "What kind of orgy is this?"

"For all the global love-in, the new president has led rich nations to neglect principled action and row back from climate deals."

Naomi Klein, The Guardian, October 16 2009

Liberal journalist hungers for his ever-elusive touch

"This administration is increasingly out of touch with the progressive base that secured Obama the Democratic nomination and ultimately propelled him to the White House."

John Nichols, The Nation, October 12 2009

Sexual persona let down

Camille Paglia Watch, Episode 1: Crucial, critical, climactic, defining, decisive, all-important moment for Obama approaches in which . . . he loses Paglia's high regard

"The cluster of appointees around a person in power reflects his or her belief system and modus operandi. However, it is a mark of leadership to recognize the need for professional evolution beyond an old comfort zone. Obama is approaching a turning point which will define his political future, if he has one."

Salon, October 14 2009

Feminists ticked that Obama offers them "cabfare," doesn't call back

"Mr. President, in your speech to a joint session of Congress, you managed once again to gratuitously use women's rights to placate the right.

"Dammit President Obama. Women put you in office, and stuck with you when the crazies were beating you up with 'death panels' and 'socialized medicine.'

"We wonder why you have to always use our most intimate health issues as a bargaining chip to give away, when you're not going to get anything back."

Martha Burk, "Throwing Women Overboard -- Again," Huffpo Sep 9 2009

"What does he see in that total biyatch Thorbjoern Jagland?"

"Like millions of other people, I admire Obama. I, too, was caught up in the general elation that a country with a shameful history of racism could find a clever, well qualified, eloquent and charismatic candidate who was also black and then vote him into the White House.

"But it is both foolish and wrong of him to accept a prize for something he has not achieved. It casts great doubt on Obama’s judgment and integrity."

Minette Marrin, The Sunday Times, October 11, 2009

New York Times editorial board finds out the see-thru nightie was meant for them

October 4, 2009:

Mr. Obama’s Promise of Transparency

"Hopes for an effective law that would protect the public’s access to essential news from inside government have been dealt a severe setback by the Obama administration.

"The latest hedging from the White House does not deliver on his promise for a new era of openness."

Daily Kos contributor discovers perils of performing cognitive functions with wrong body part

"I've heard people argue that the President is constrained by the conservative Democrats in the Senate. If this is the case, then Barack Obama clearly doesn't have the leadership skills I thought he did."

"serecovery," Sep 30, 2009

"What's so freaking great about a uniform?"

"President Obama is reinstating the same deeply-flawed military commissions that in June 2008 he called an 'enormous failure.' In one swift move, Obama both backtracks on a major campaign promise to change the way the United States fights terrorism and undermines the nation's core respect for the rule of law by sacrificing due process for political expediency."
--Amnesty International, May 15 2009

The wedding cake

"The New York Times is reporting that President Obama has 'decided to keep the military commission his predecessor created to try suspected terrorists.'

"Obama aides said some defendants might be tried in civilian courts and that they were trying to create a 'durable, multilayered option.' Sounds like a kind of torture wedding cake whose original design is by George W. Bush and Dick Cheney but now one that has a new glamorous Obama designer label on it with a few fluffy swirls and better p.r.

"I'm 'looking forward and not backward'. I'm off to bake up some Obama change cake; it's a delicate task involving mostly incanting words and raising expectations (I've tried ordinary yeast but it is not as effective as 'hope'). Let's pray it's not a flop, or should I say, flip flop. Again."
--fflambeau on DailyKos, May 15 2009

Financial genius regrets not getting a pre-nup

"I'm appalled at the anti-Wall Street rhetoric. It was OK on the campaign but now it's the real world. I'm surprised that Obama is turning out to be so left-wing. He's a real class warrior."
--A top Obama fundraiser and hedge fund manager, Telegraph, May 10 2009

The ad said clearly, "Must Love Bears"!!

"I am ill. I donated, fought for, and voted for Obama because I thought he could repeal all the stupid pigheaded wrong decisions of the Bush Administration, most especially on global warming. Now the AP reports that he's not going to change one of the most stupid, pigheaded, wrong rules to come out of those dark days. Instead, he's going to "further study" whether greenhouse gases will hurt the polar bear."
--indigoblueskies's diary, May 8 2009 DailyKos

Politigeek snuggles up to Obama to watch the sun set . . .

. . . and darkness falls.
"One reason that I was so interested in candidate Obama in 2007 was that he seemed to have the same broad orientation to politics as I do. The world is a harsh, complicated place in which to live. Ultimately, we're going to have different views on what to do. Ultimately, we should accept as fact that others will disagree - and we should respect those who disagree with us, above all assuming that they're acting in good faith.

In 2007, I thought this is how the President thought about things, too. It has become increasingly clear to me, however, that either he doesn't, or his inner circle doesn't. "
--Jay Cost of horseraceblog, Apr 27 2009

Deep thrusts rearrange Daily Kos reader's brain?

"Obama is an effing liar. What fools we are to have believed in change. He has yielded his integrity and the claim to stand for anything meaningful beyond the Pursuit Of The Presidency. Oh, he is perfectly happy to distribute the fish and loaves of office. I'm sure it is very noble to distribute taxpayers' money to help taxpayers. But that is like me giving away Bill Gates' wealth."
--Arun, Apr 11 2009

Daily Kos writer won't turn over next time

"Change you can believe in" my ass.
--wyvern, apr 11 2009

Close your eyes and think of unicorns

"I'm not searching for ways to criticize Obama. I wish I could be writing paeans celebrating the restoration of the Constitution and the rule of law. But these actions -- these contradictions between what he said and what he is doing, the embrace of the very powers that caused so much anger towards Bush/Cheney -- are so blatant, so transparent, so extreme, that the only way to avoid noticing them is to purposely shut your eyes as tightly as possible and resolve that you don't want to see it, or that you're so convinced of his intrinsic Goodness that you'll just believe that even when it seems like he's doing bad things, he must really be doing them for the Good."
--Glenn Greenwald, Apr 11 2009

Activist discovers perils of "hoping" and "believing" with wrong body part

Someone named "Tim Jones" at something called the "Electronic Frontier Foundation":
"We had hoped this would go differently. The gulf between Candidate Obama and President Obama is striking. As a candidate, Obama ran promising a new era of government transparency and accountability, an end to the Bush DOJ's radical theories of executive power, and reform of the PATRIOT Act. This isn't change we can believe in. This is change for the worse."
--Apr 7 2009

Daily Kos reader, stunned by betrayal, accidentally enters wrong bumper sticker contest

"Chains we can believe in - Obama 2012!"
--roguetrader2000, Apr 7 2009

Keith Olbermann guest, searching for words to express betrayal, starts speaking foreign language

"Cult"
"It doesn't matter if you say you're a good person. The people that support him in many different ways are going to have to tell the President that they will not let him eviscerate privacy because of some cult of personality where he's so popular he can do anything."
--Jonathan Turley, Apr 7 2009

Keith Olbermann asks, "What does he see in that total biyatch George Bush?"

"During his run for the presidency, Barack Obama argued strongly against the Bush administration's use of executive authority. That was then, this is now. President Obama's Justice Department now not just defending Bush officials from lawsuits surrounding national security agency domestic spying, but seeking to expand the government's authority. Welcome to change you cannot believe in."
--Keith Olbermann, Apr 7 2009

Glenn Greenwald's readers ask, "What does he see in that total biyatch George Bush?"

"Obama is a corporate tool but with better speaking skills."
-- teachertun

"I now officially hate Obama as much as I hated Bush. Wow. That didn't take long."
-- ccatmoon

"Shocked and disappointed. I can hardly believe it. I had soooo much hope for our Country to HEAL THE WOUNDS inflicted upon us and the world through the Bush administrations. To learn that President Obama wants to continue this NIGHTMARE AND MAKE IT WORSE,MAKES ME FEEL SICK. I thought we had elected this President on the platform of MORE TRANSPARENCY AND MORE ACCOUNTABILITY. Its like a gut punch from a friend, or who I thought was a friend. We thought we had really done it, we thought the American people who could think had won the day and years."
-- Kitkat9000

Young fuddy-duddy wipes steam off glasses, suddenly sees things differently

"I welcomed, moderately, his victory last year as offering the possibility of a fresh start and a boost to confidence. But I'll wager that within a year or so he'll be marked down as a wind-bag."
--Iain Martin, the Telegraph, Apr 6 2009

Overpaid, Oversexed, and Over here

"Where is the new JFK we expected?"
--Jonathan Freedland, The Guardian, Apr 1 2009

Auto eroticism backfires

Unforgiving, Angry, Wised-up
"Obama was a Trojan horse."
"I feel betrayed."
"My opinion of him, at first, was that he's going to stick up for us. He's only been in three months. What he was saying then and what he is saying now seems to me like a total contradiction."
--April 1 2009

"Why won't you ever do it with the lights on?"

"We were promised unprecedented openness. In the most momentous area of policy for getting the economy functioning again for ordinary Americans, we have instead unprecedented secrecy, designed by and for Wall Street. We expected better of Obama."
--Robert Kuttner, Huffington Post, Mar 30 2009

British journos mistake job performance for job performance

"Lead dammit"
"His performance has been weaker than those who endorsed his candidacy, including this newspaper, had hoped."
--The Economist editorial, March 2009

Private Parts

"If this is a joke, it's not funny."
--Pro-Obama Iraq war veteran on The Real World finding out he's been called back for active duty

Back to prostituting themselves

"Memo to President Obama, from the arts world: This is not what we had in mind."
"The arts world is fuming over Obama's dubiously qualified 'arts czar,' and a humanities appointee who lacks a college degree."
--TheDailyBeast.com, March 2009

Preacher gets up off his knees

"I’m Starting to Regret My Vote for Obama"
"I’m grateful the US has its first black president — this can help race relations. And I’m glad our president is an eloquent speaker. But four months after the election I’m more concerned about a 1.7 trillion dollar deficit. If the Bush Administration is castigated for spending money like a fiend, then what am I to make of the Obama Administration?"
--As the Deer, "a spiritual journal written by Christopher R. Brundage, associate pastor at the First United Methodist Church of Adrian, Michigan, where his desk has a seashell, a gorilla and a slinky on it"

T. Coddington Van Voorhees VII discovers perils of performing cognitive functions with wrong body part

"I supported Obama because I thought he was a serious man."
--Christopher Buckley, March 2009

Flunking the ultimate love test

"It saddens me to say that the new administration has made it clear through their actions, snubs, insults and inactions that President Obama has no plans to do anything special, other than represent the symbol of being the first African American president to help black businesses or the general black community as a whole. His highest-ranking cabinet appointees include the same number of blacks as President Bush appointed."
--Hermene Hartman, Huffington Post Mar 2009

Yes, even classy call girls have pimps

Financial genius money wiz famous New York Times columnist Yale/MIT graduate Nobel Prize winning Princeton professor economist beginning to discover that Joe the Plumber might have been a better matchmaker
"This administration, elected on the promise of change, has already managed, in an astonishingly short time, to create the impression that it’s owned by the wheeler-dealers."
--Paul Krugman, Mar 20 2009

Sex Ed

Next time he'll pay more attention to the "Abstinence" chapter
"I regret voting for Obama then and I would like to officially rescind my vote now. There are so many other reasons to despise President Merit Pay beyond the silly little speech he gave on education yesterday. Here are a few more:

He seems intent on setting as much money on fire as possible and handing it hand over fist to AIG, Citigroup, BoA and the rest of the zombie finanacial instituions, all the while mortgaging the country's future by either printing that money or borrowing it from the Chinese.

He can't seem to actually hire anybody else for the Treasury Dept. outside of Little Timmeh Giethner and Larry "Misogynist" Summers, which is troubling considering both of these clowns helped create the mess we're in now and have no idea how to get us out of it other than throw as much borrowed money at the problem as they can, inflation be damned.

As an environmentalist and a person concerned about food safety, I can't tell you how disgusted I am by Obama's pick of "Ag Whore" Tom "I'm owned by Monsanto" Vilsack to run the the Agriculture Department. If you're a big agricultural conglomerate, you're going to do well under the Obama administration. If you're a little farmer trying to grow wholesome, non-genetically modified food, you're not going to do so well.

And finally, he's just a hypocrite. Today he signed a bill loaded with earmarks while railing against earmarks. Seriously. That's as bad as GOP Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell railing against ear marks while loading that very same bill with earmarks. You know what Merit Pay? If you don't like the bill, don't sign it. You have veto power, you know. Oh, and he also railed against signing statements while issuing a signing statement. When I looked that up in the dictionary, it said SEE HYPOCRITE.

Yeah, I'm done. With Obama. I wanted to give him a chance, but I just can't support him any longer."
--"NYC Educator" Mar 7 2009

Political analyst finds his inner Miss Havisham

"Against all my expectations . . . Following Obama during the New Hampshire primary, I saw a candidate who -- though I disagreed with him on many issues -- defended idealism and rhetoric against the supremely cynical Clinton machine, who brought a religious sensibility to matters of social justice, who took care to understand and accommodate the arguments of others, who provided a temperamental contrast to culture war politics. After just weeks of governing, that image seems like a brittle, yellowed photograph, buried at the back of a drawer."
--Michael Gerson, WaPo, Mar 13 2009

Geek girl tries to buy love, check bounces

"Having defended Obama's candidacy largely on his economic team, I'm having serious buyer's remorse. He has now raced passed [sic] Bush in the Delusional Budget Math olympics."
--Megan McArdle, The Atlantic, Mar 12 2009

Sex and the city

"Anyone else with me?
I was really excited I really really was....
I really thought it was a new era in US politics, a change for the better....
But really, they're all just evil bastards, aren't they? It's just business as usual....but worse.
Lying, hypocritical bastards who think our money is theirs to steal and use it to fuel their own political agenda...
I regret voting for Obama. I know other people who also regret voting for Obama.
I had screaming matches with people about this guy before the election. I screamed about him from the freaking rooftops.
But, he's no better than Bush. Really he's not. It's just more of the same corrupt, hypocritical Washington BULLSHIT.
Not that I would have voted for McCain if I could go back.
Fuck that, next time I'm voting for whomever promises to decimate the government until they're out of our lives as much as is humanely possible.
If Ron Paul is running next time, he's getting my vote. Atlas has shrugged
(which I've just finished by the way...great book....Obama and his henchmen are represented almost perfectly and this was written back in the 50's!!!!)"
--New York City craigslist rant, Mar 5 2009

Roofies and crack don't mix.

"I thought Obama to be a middle-of-the-road Democrat. . . . I believe his agenda is crushing nest eggs around the nation in loud ways, like the decline in the averages, and in soft but dangerous ways, like in the annuities that can't be paid and the insurance benefits that will be challenging to deliver on. I will fight the fight against that agenda. I will stand up for what I believe and for what I have always believed. If that makes me an enemy of the White House, then call me a general of an army that Obama may not even know exists -- tens of millions of people who live in fear of having no money saved when they need it and who get poorer by the day."
--Jim Cramer, Mar 5 2009

Neutral sage mistakes job performance for job performance

"Having praised President Obama's job performance in two recent columns, it is with regret that I now worry that he may be deepening what looks more and more like a depression and may engineer so much spending, debt, and government control of the economy as to leave most Americans permanently less prosperous and less free."
--Stuart Taylor, National Journal, March 2009

"Quit playing with your strawman and pay attention to me."

"Barack Obama's campaign was launched in January, 2007 with an appeal to change the tone of our political discussion. I thought there was some real merit to this claim, which is a big reason I found his candidacy so intriguing at the time. But, when the first major political battle of his administration came, the President tossed "change the tone" out the window. I am deeply disappointed that the President himself is playing this game - not just because he is the President and this kind of nonsense should be beneath him. It's also because he is the President in part because he promised he wouldn't do this stuff! And yet, we've seen this kind of immature nonsense quite a bit from an administration that has only been in place for a month."
--Jay Cost, Mar 4 2009

Political analyst twitches, aches for better "moves"

"He is making alarming and wrongheaded moves in Afghanistan and Pakistan. By sending 17,000 troops to Afghanistan and continuing Bush's illegal policy of using drone Predators to assassinate suspected militants in Pakistan, he's raised significant doubts about whether he is prepared to reject Bush's entire failed war on terror."
--Gary Kamiya, Salon, Mar 3 2009

"What does he see in that total biyatch John McCain?"

"It's hard not to take a glass-half-empty attitude toward President Obama's Iraq speech today -- especially when John McCain is praising his policy and prominent Democrats are criticizing it. This, truly, is change I can't believe in."
--Robert Dreyfuss, The Nation, Mar 27 2009

Pacifist: "You said you'd only put the head in."

"What kind of a 'withdrawal' is this? It is one so burdened with contingencies, conditional footnotes, and amendatory clauses, that it falls beneath its own weight and collapses into a fair approximation of the status quo. Antiwar voters who cast their ballots for Obama have succeeded in rolling the stone all the way up a rather steep hill, only to see it fall down the other side – and we are right back where we started."
--Justin Raimondo Feb 27 2009

Neutral sage discovers perils of performing cognitive functions with wrong body part

"Those of us who consider ourselves moderates — moderate-conservative, in my case — are forced to confront the reality that Barack Obama is not who we thought he was."
--David Brooks, March 2 2009

Syllable-addict and putative conservative gets rash in private parts

It turns out the lubricant was snake-oil
"One feels almost unpatriotic, entertaining negative thoughts about Obama’s grand plan. But it is far from clear that spending oceanic sums of money is the right corrective."
--Obama supporter Christopher Buckley, March 2009

Orphaned by sugar-daddy

"I work for a small, 5-year old non-profit arts organization in Illinois. A couple of our usual big donors have indicated we should be prepared for smaller donations this year, and possibly none in the next couple of years. The[y] are mentioning Obama's tax plans and their need to save money now in anticipation of that. A lot of my colleagues in the not-for-profit world are really scared right now, and we are not happy with Obama. We hear the rhetoric that the government is going to have a reserve to give to non-profits that will make up for some of the lost donations, but the fact is, we have never received federal aid, and likely never would (assuming the organization could even make it that far). Organizations are going to be killed under Obama's plan. I may have voted myself out of a job, and voted a whole community of kids out of art-making opportunities. Frankly, this sucks."
--Andrew Sullivan reader, Mar 1 2009

Young fuddy-duddy gropes around on nightstand, finds glasses

"I owe Republicans an apology. This budget says the Republicans had Mr Obama right all along."
--Clive Crook, March 1 2009

New Math proves fatal to romance

Fifty-thousand forces will remain in Iraq after all troops are completely gone 16 months from now, in 19 months.
"I have long been for a significant drawback of troops in Iraq. Fifty-thousand is a higher number than I anticipated."
--Harry Reid

"Fifty-thousand is more than I would have thought."
--Charles Schumer

"I don't know what the justification is for 50,000. I don't know that all of them have to be in country."
--Nancy Pelosi

Some are glad they didn't get that "I Love Obama" tattoo . . .

"What does he see in that total biyatch Chas Freeman?"

Political analyst who was fine with "God damn America" draws the line at "God damn Marty Peretz."
"I can't believe that Obama wants to appoint someone who is quintessentially an insult to the patriotism of some [sic] many of his supporters, me included."
--Martin Peretz on prospective Obama appointee

Ex-KKK member: "Once you have Black, you just might go back."

"I have been reading, with interest, press accounts about the creation of new White House Offices of Health Reform, Urban Affairs Policy, and Energy and Climate Change Policy, and also about the appointment of White House staff to coordinate executive branch efforts on technology and management performance policies. I am concerned about the relationship between these new White House positions and their executive branch counterparts. Too often, I have seen these lines of authority and responsibility become tangled and blurred, sometimes purposely, to shield information and to obscure the decision-making process."
--Senator Robert K. Byrd to President Obama, Feb 23 2009

Political analyst's leg goes numb

"People are really getting angry. I'm getting angry. People who have saved for retirement are RIP right now. This fear and loathing is growing. "
--Chris Matthews, February 23 2009

Paul Krugman asks, "Is it me?"

Financial genius money wiz famous New York Times columnist Yale/MIT graduate Nobel Prize winning Princeton professor economist beginning to discover that Joe the Plumber might have been a better matchmaker
"I’m trying to be sympathetic to the various plans, or rumors of plans, for bank aid; but I keep not being able to understand either what the plans are, or why they’re supposed to work. And I don’t think it’s me. I just don’t get it. And my sinking feeling that the administration plan is to rearrange the deck chairs and hope the iceberg melts just keeps getting stronger."
--February 24 2009

Human rights org laments yellow fever isn't transmissible

"Amnesty International is shocked and extremely disappointed by U.S. Secretary Clinton's comments that human rights will not be a priority in her diplomatic engagement with China."
--Amnesty International, Feb 20 2009

"Um, we're not really into bondage"

Terrorist defenders wish Obama would quit shopping at EdenFantasys.com
"The hope we all had in President Obama to lead us on a different path has not turned out as we'd hoped. We all expected better."
--Tina Monshipour Foster, legal rep for Bagram detainee, Feb 20 2009

"They've now embraced the Bush policy."
--Jonathan Hafetz, ACLU, Feb 20 2009

Beach boy discovers perils of performing cognitive functions with wrong body part

"I personally thought President Bush was the worst to hold such a prestigious position as the president of the United States. Looking at President Obama’s stimulus package, now I feel he is the worst presdent in history to conquer the Oval Office. His plan is to tax the working class and give those funds to contractors and developers who really don’t need it."

“Obummer.”
--Dean Nagasako, Hawaii Tribune-Herald, Letter to the Editor, Feb 18 2009

Not funny

How hard do you have to be hit before you start paying attention to how you vote?
"I voted for him. Now I'm wondering, I think I made the wrong decision. I buried body parts for three years. I'm really disillusioned."
--Mother of USS Cole victim

Political analyst fumes that it was just locker-room talk

Didn't Obama say theirs is "tiny"?
"What's the justification for Obama's inflammatory and obviously consequential (though seemingly baseless) claim on national television that the Iranians 'are pursuing a nuclear weapon that could potentially trigger a nuclear arms race' when the consensus of American intelligence agencies is that they are not doing so?"
--Glenn Greenwald, Jan 12 2009

Woops

Supporters inadvertently admit that they'd rather give him sex for free than pay for the privilege

The Story of O

"Obama administration maintains Bush position on 'extraordinary rendition' lawsuit"
--ABC News, 2/10/09

Sir Stephen unmasked
"We are shocked and deeply disappointed that the Justice Department has chosen to continue the Bush administration’s practice of dodging judicial scrutiny of extraordinary rendition and torture. This was an opportunity for the new administration to act on its condemnation of torture and rendition, but instead it has chosen to stay the course."
--Ben Wizner, ACLU

"Appalling and inexcusable."
--Glenn Greenwald

"The Obama administration will protect the Bush-Cheney torture regime from the light of day. And with each decision to cover for their predecessors, the Obamaites become retroactively complicit in them."
--Andrew Sullivan

Black journalists cured of jungle fever

"Black Press Gets Prime Seating, But No Question, At Obama Press Conference"
--Huffington Post, 2/10/09

"We were window dressing."
--Hazel Edney, Black Press of America

"I really don't know why I'm up here."
--Tiffany Cross, Black Entertainment Television

"This was like Reagan, when he'd put all the blacks up front. He oughta be ashamed."
--Black reporter

Foreign affairs

Oversexed, Overpaid and Over Here
"If a bill is passed which prohibits the sale or purchase of European goods on American territory, that is something we will not stand idly by and ignore."
--EU Trade Commission spokesperson, January 2009

"The optimism about this man, his background and his talk of reaching out to the rest of the world, has evaporated. There is real anger here over what is happening in Gaza and people will not forget Obama's silence."
--Oraib Al Rantawi, director of Al-Quds Centre for Political Studies in Amman, Jordan, January 2009

"We need to go down with a message that says, look, it was this kind of protectionism that precipitated the Great Depression. This is a march to insanity."
--Saskatchewan Premier Brad Wall, January 2009

“He is barking up the wrong tree. It’s possible that at this time there are elements, perhaps in the administration who are harking back to the pre-2000 era.”
--MK Narayanan, India National Security Advisor, February 2009

Masturbator-in-Chief can't seem to get those colored lights going

"I messed up. I screwed up. We screwed up. This is something that was my fault. We're going to make some mistakes. I'm frustrated with myself, with our team. This is a self-induced injury that I'm angry about. I'm going to screw up sometimes."
--President Barack Obama, two weeks after taking office

He knows how to tease: the Yes-We-Can countdowns

Whirled Peas
Citizen: "Would you be willing to meet separately, without precondition, during the first year of your administration, in Washington or anywhere else, with the leaders of Iran, Syria, Venezuela, Cuba, and North Korea?"

Obama: "I would."
--Democrat primary campaign 2007

We have until January 19, 2010 to make a complete break with the failed politics of the past. Can we . . .

. . . shake hands with a religious extremist who executes gay men and sexually active teenage girls?
2010-1-19 00:00:00 GMT-05:00

. . . take tea with a President-for-Life who succeeded his father in office and who tortures Arabs for opposing him politically?
2010-1-19 00:00:00 GMT-05:00

. . . mock the devil with a pusher of non-green energy who has cut off diplomatic relations with America?
2010-1-19 00:00:00 GMT-05:00

. . . smoke cigars with a Comandante who confines 11.5 million dark-skinned people to a small Caribbean island with no access to American-style justice?
2010-1-19 00:00:00 GMT-05:00

. . . sip Hennessy VSOP with an unelected tyrant whose labor camps enslave one million people of color?
2010-1-19 00:00:00 GMT-05:00

Yellow Ribbons
"The detention facilities at Guantánamo for individuals covered by this order shall be closed as soon as practicable, and no later than 1 year from the date of this order. If any individuals covered by this order remain in detention at Guantánamo at the time of closure of those detention facilities, they shall be returned to their home country, released, transferred to a third country, or transferred to another United States detention facility in a manner consistent with law and the national security and foreign policy interests of the United States."
--President Barack Obama, Executive Order, January 22 2009

Celibate marital castoff talks of a long-unknown sensation:
"There is a great exhalation of breath going on in the world."
--Hillary Clinton, January 27 2009

Can we huff and puff and blow the walls down? January 21, 2010 will be here before you can say "Barack the Beneficent will surely prosecute Cheney the Torturer!"
2010-1-21 00:00:00 GMT-05:00

Press miffed to find out the see-thru nightie is meant for them

“It is ironic, the same day that the president is talking about transparency, we were not let in."
--Ed Henry, CNN, Jan 22 2009

"How is it transparent when it looks like pay to play when the president gives his only interview on inauguration night to a network that's paid $2 million for the privilege of exclusive coverage of an event... the Neighborhood Ball?"
--Bill Plante, CBS, Jan 22 2009

"How is it transparent when you control the only image of the re-swearing - there's nobody in there but four print reporters, there's no stills, there's no television? And the only recording that comes out, as I understand it, is one that a reporter made, not one that the White House supplied."
--reporter at first White House press briefing, Jan 22 2009

"Pool is holding in a van outside, while Mr obama does his washington post interview, and will exercise enormous restraint by ending report before saying what really thinks about this turn of events."
--New York Times reporter Helene Cooper, Jan 15 2009

"Asked how he could reconcile a strict ban on lobbyists in his administration with a Deputy Defense Secretary nominee who lobbied for Raytheon, Obama interrupted with a knowing smile on his face. 'Ahh, see," he said, 'I came down here to visit. See this is what happens.'

He revealed that he had already gotten in two work outs since being sworn in Tuesday."
--Politico, Jan 22 2009